Let’s Just Say It…Layoffs Suck.

Whether you have been laid off, your co-workers (friends) at work have been laid off or layoffs are threatening your culture…layoffs are the worst.

I have been through all three scenarios, and each one has its own set of emotions and turmoil. And it seems it’s all we are hearing about lately…big companies that are laying off thousands of workers and it’s devasting.

I remember my first experience with a layoff. I was young in my career working as a marketing manager at a global media company in New York City. There were rumors floating around about layoffs and I remember being nervous. I was expendable. I worked in the smallest (and probably least profitable) sector of the company, and I was not revenue generating. I was a cost. My only saving grace at the time was being part of the organization’s inaugural 2-year global leadership development program. They were making significant investments in future leaders and I thought…they wouldn’t let go of one of the “Explorers”, right?  (Explorers was the name of the leadership program). I was right…I was safe from that round. And I didn’t know anyone that was affected. Phew…

And to be honest, layoffs didn’t hit home for me again until years later when the recession hit around 2008. I was working at a hospitality company at that time and what are some things people cut back on when times are tough? Travel. The company was hit hard…but I managed to remain untouched. Phew again.

The next time I came face to face with layoffs it was more personal. At a different company, people were let go in my department. Close colleagues I worked with every day.   I knew the layoffs were going to happen…but I didn’t know who was going to be affected. When you know a layoff is coming, it’s hard to really focus on anything else at work. So many emotions take over.

Fear.

Uncertainty.

Anxiety.

Sadness.

And actual work is very hard to do. I was leading a team at the time so not only did I need to manage my own agita (thank you Long Island), but I had to also be there for my team, support their big emotions…and questions. Questions I didn’t always have answers to.

When the layoff finally happened, in addition to all the emotions already mentioned, there was a tremendous feeling of guilt.

Why them and not me?

Will they be ok?

Is it ok to be friends with them anymore?

Will they blame me or resent me?

And of course…will I be next?

The psychological impact of layoffs in the workplace is absolutely enormous. Never underestimate this. I’ve lived it as an employee, as a leader and finally as someone who was laid off.

My luck ran out about a year ago when I was let go from a company I had worked at for almost 15 years. I can confidently say it was one of the worst experiences of my life.

Heartbreak is probably the best way to describe it.

But looking back now, somewhat removed (emphasize somewhat because there is still scar tissue) the saddest part for me is lost relationships.

My confidence has returned. I believe I’m in a better position personally in my career.  And in many respects, I have more control over my life.

But I miss the relationships I had with people. Because at the end of the day…work is about people. It’s all about people. And when those ties are broken so abruptly and so severely, it can be nothing short of heartbreaking.

So my advice is if you are facing impeding layoffs: take care of yourself physically and mentally. The emotional toll is high, and you need to give yourself space every day to recover. It’s not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Whatever recovery looks like for you- walking, reading, dinner with friends, etc., take time to do it. Being consumed in uncertainty and fear can sink you if you let it.

If you are leading a team that is impacted by a layoff…listen. Give your team time to grieve, time to process and be there for them. You may not have all the answers or can provide any guarantees, but you can be there to support them. Give their emotions a place to land. Listening is one of the most powerful trust tools there are, and trust is at risk during layoffs.

If you are not laid off but your colleagues are, my advice is to reach out.  That day, the next day or even the next week. Don’t be afraid. Their whole world has been turned upside down.  Speaking from experience, it is comforting to know that colleagues you worked with cared about you. When you are silent, they can start to question that. So don’t let your fear get in the way of showing someone that you do care. That you are thinking about them, and you are there to help if they need it.

And finally, if you are laid off…I see you. It sucks. But it does not define you. You will rise, you will recover and you will be in a better place. It just takes time. Give yourself that time. Lean on friends and be ok with not being ok for a little while. The sun will shine again…I promise.

I understand why layoffs exist. Business is business and they need to survive. But business is people. Without people there is no business. Building a process that keeps people at the center is my wish for all those affected by layoffs.

I’m here to talk if anyone needs it…hang in there.  This too shall pass.

Kelly